Wednesday, May 8, 2013
I suck at this ;)
Well here we are in May already. Where has time gone? This time of year finds us in baseball season. I have ball 5 days a week!!!! So needless to say I am very very busy!! But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Through ball I've been able to meet some great people who have become great friends!!
My RA is kicking my trash lately and I've been put back on my weekly self injections along with my monthly IV infusions. The weekly injection is methotrexate. It is chemo. Needless to say I feel like junk. I can't even imagine getting IV bags full of that stuff. I will be headed to the U in a few weeks to talk with a liver specialist about some very abnormal test results. Then surgery on my shoulder. I know you wish you could be me ;)
Now on to the good stuff!! The kids!
Jacelyn had her first birthdayFebruary 15th. It was so much fun having all of our family and some close friends here. She is running everywhere and loves her baby dolls. She has her best buddy Lila over a few times a week and it's so fun watching them play. She LOVES animals especially this stray cat that showed up. Moms not such a big fan of it.
Jailey finally had her birthday!!! She was so excited for it to be her turn. We went bowling and the red pepper (Chilies) to eat. She is so excited cause she hit her 100 book mark at school and got to pick out of the treasure box. She is such a big helper with the baby.
Jordyn is starting to get a little attitude but she is such a sweetheart most days. She loves being outside and hates being in the house. She is also a big help with the baby and is loving coach pitch. She hits the ball too! Not sure why I'm surprised but I was.
Mr. Wyatt is getting to big. He is so excited to be playing real baseball this year. He loves it! We are also gonna see about getting him signed up for some flag football. He is all boy! But he is still my tender hearted little boy who hates to see anyone sad or hurting. He is a protector!
Jake is working down by Vegas and we were able to go stay with him over spring break. That trailer isn't as big as I remember it being. He'll be working on that job till November. He is liking it for the most part, a big plus is he is working out of a helicopter some days.
I became an auntie again when my brothers wife had there little boy. He came way early at 25 weeks but he is doing awesome. He will be three weeks old Friday. He is such a miracle. His name is Kaicen and he weighed 2 pounds 2 ounces. He is such a beautiful baby.
Well I hope to keep this thing updated a little better. Have a awesome summer!!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2012 is gone and 2013 is here!!
Okay so I realize I am horrible at blogging! One of my New Year Resolutions it to become better by blogging at least once a month and maybe a little more if the need arises! I have friends who are wonderful at it and I am failing miserably at it! So with it being a new year I would like to start fresh.
So here we are at the beginning of another year yet again. Where does the time fly?!? I am having a very hard time believing my baby will be a year old in a month and a half!! Wyatt turned 9 on December 2nd and Jordyn turned 7 on December 23rd! How did they get to be so old!! Better question is how did I become so old! Jailey is anxiously awaiting her 6th birthday in April.
I truly have the best kids a mother could ask for!! They make my job easy. While they are not perfect they are pretty dang close to it. They are all sick right now but that just means mom get to love on them a little while longer. 2 extra days of Christmas break for this family!!
Christmas was very good to us! The kids all got spoiled and so did I!! Jake got me an Ipad and I was a little mad that he spent so much but its kind of nice to have a fun toy. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. The best gift I got tho was having him home for a week and a half. Even if he was sick.
So far my RA is okay I guess. I was suppose to go in Friday for my monthly dose of immune suppressants but because of some funky test results I have to wait on it. Hopefully the second opinion will be back this week and I can get the all clear signal so I can start them again. These VERY COLD temps that popped up on us these last couple days are kind of making me hurt a little. I'm very happy that I've been able to only need the one IV a month and not have to take the nasty pills and self injection like I had to do before I got pregnant with Jacelyn.
Jacelyn is growing like a weed. Her surgery last summer went very well! The surgeon said it went even better than he thought it would and let us go home after a few hours of observation instead of making us stay the night. Primary Children's is an awesome hospital and I am so happy we are so close to such great medical care.
Jailey is still the little spitfire!! You never know what she is going to say next. She is doing great in school and meeting all of her goals. Only one thing we need to work on and that is talking A LOT!! Can't imagine where she gets that from ;-)
Jordyn is turning into a little young lady! She is growing up too fast! She is such a big help with the baby and is almost like a little mother. She is doing excellent in school and is almost to smart for her own good! She is starting to get noticed a little by the boys and I'm not okay with that but I guess its a part of growing up.
Mr. Wyatt is getting way to big!! My baby boy is now 9! I can still remember when we were expecting him and wanted him to hurry up and get here. Now he is 9!! Ugh I want them all to slow down and stay little. Wyatt loves school and he is doing so well!! He is one that wears his heart on his sleeve and hates to disappoint anyone. He is a people pleaser. And beings that he is surrounded by girls he is an all around boy! Loves Lego's and shooting things! Just like his daddy ;-)
Well I hope the holiday season found everyone in good spirits and that everyone had a safe holiday! Here is to a happy and healthy 2013!!
So here we are at the beginning of another year yet again. Where does the time fly?!? I am having a very hard time believing my baby will be a year old in a month and a half!! Wyatt turned 9 on December 2nd and Jordyn turned 7 on December 23rd! How did they get to be so old!! Better question is how did I become so old! Jailey is anxiously awaiting her 6th birthday in April.
I truly have the best kids a mother could ask for!! They make my job easy. While they are not perfect they are pretty dang close to it. They are all sick right now but that just means mom get to love on them a little while longer. 2 extra days of Christmas break for this family!!
Christmas was very good to us! The kids all got spoiled and so did I!! Jake got me an Ipad and I was a little mad that he spent so much but its kind of nice to have a fun toy. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. The best gift I got tho was having him home for a week and a half. Even if he was sick.
So far my RA is okay I guess. I was suppose to go in Friday for my monthly dose of immune suppressants but because of some funky test results I have to wait on it. Hopefully the second opinion will be back this week and I can get the all clear signal so I can start them again. These VERY COLD temps that popped up on us these last couple days are kind of making me hurt a little. I'm very happy that I've been able to only need the one IV a month and not have to take the nasty pills and self injection like I had to do before I got pregnant with Jacelyn.
Jacelyn is growing like a weed. Her surgery last summer went very well! The surgeon said it went even better than he thought it would and let us go home after a few hours of observation instead of making us stay the night. Primary Children's is an awesome hospital and I am so happy we are so close to such great medical care.
Jailey is still the little spitfire!! You never know what she is going to say next. She is doing great in school and meeting all of her goals. Only one thing we need to work on and that is talking A LOT!! Can't imagine where she gets that from ;-)
Jordyn is turning into a little young lady! She is growing up too fast! She is such a big help with the baby and is almost like a little mother. She is doing excellent in school and is almost to smart for her own good! She is starting to get noticed a little by the boys and I'm not okay with that but I guess its a part of growing up.
Mr. Wyatt is getting way to big!! My baby boy is now 9! I can still remember when we were expecting him and wanted him to hurry up and get here. Now he is 9!! Ugh I want them all to slow down and stay little. Wyatt loves school and he is doing so well!! He is one that wears his heart on his sleeve and hates to disappoint anyone. He is a people pleaser. And beings that he is surrounded by girls he is an all around boy! Loves Lego's and shooting things! Just like his daddy ;-)
Well I hope the holiday season found everyone in good spirits and that everyone had a safe holiday! Here is to a happy and healthy 2013!!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Summer so far!!!
Well this update finds us well into our summer vacation! The kids are so happy to be out of school and free to do lots of stuff outside. Jacelyn is growing so fast! She had her 4 month check on the 13th and is 13lbs and 10oz. She is in the 90% for her height and the 50% for her weight. We took her to visit the ENT yesterday and we have scheduled her surgery for the 30th of July. I hope by then she is sleeping through the night and takes a bottle easier than she does now. Jake is working in Maine and is hating it almost as much as we are. But its a job, it pays the bills, keeps a roof over our head and food in our mouths. For that I am grateful. We celebrated our 9th anniversary the 5th of this month 3,000 miles apart. That was a hard day for both of us but I think tomorrow is going to be harder with it being father's day. He is my hero and words can not even begin to describe how very grateful I am for all that he sacrifices for our family. We have our fingers crossed that he will be able to come home in July to work on a job up north that his company is starting.
I've had a lot on my mind lately and decided I would get it out of my head and on my blog. First of all I want to say to all the single mom's/dad's, army wives/husbands, and widowed people out there with kids, you all are my HERO'S!!! I do not know how you do it alone for such a prolonged period of time. These past few months have been harder for me than they normally are and I think its because of Jacelyn and seeing all the things that he is missing. I know it is extremely hard for him. Thank goodness for technology and face time ;) it makes things a little easier at times but it also makes it harder too. Watching my baby girl smile, laugh and reach for daddy every time she sees him on the phone when we face time breaks my heart along with his. I know I am not alone in the world when it comes to mom's raising kids while their other half is out there making the money so we can live comfortably. I know there are people out there who are worse off too. I am so thankful for what I have. It could always be worse.
There is a saying about not judging other's until you've walked a mile in their shoe's. Well I totally agree with this and I can say that I am guilty of judging quickly and wrongly. But I have also been on the receiving end of this for a good chunk of my life and realize I am still being judged and always will be. Lately I've been called lazy and ignorant. Not sure what I have done to deserve this judgement but maybe I am. All I know is that I try as hard as I can to raise 4 kids. I try soo hard to be a good mother, daughter, sister and friend. And when your raising 4 kids semi alone it takes it out of you. So I may not always look perfect and my girls hair might be pulled in a pony everyday for a week, oh well they are happy and healthy!! I am not perfect and have never claimed nor will I ever claim to be. I am just another person out here in this crazy world trying my hardest to do my best.
I have the best neighbors and friends a girl could ever ask for. My neighbor across the street changes my water in he field cause he says he is bored. Yeah right I know he is not bored but he will never know how grateful I am for all his help and I hope he enjoys the rounds of golf I bought him for his help. My other neighbors are awesome!! Even if we don't always talk, just knowing that they are there if I ever need anything makes me feel at ease with things. I am so grateful for their friendship!! And chocolate brownies and cupcakes ;) lol
I hope that everyone has a wonderful Father's Day weekend and if you are fortunate to have your dad close give them an extra special hug for those who will not have the chance to see their dad's this holiday!! Love you all and have a wonderful summer!!!
I've had a lot on my mind lately and decided I would get it out of my head and on my blog. First of all I want to say to all the single mom's/dad's, army wives/husbands, and widowed people out there with kids, you all are my HERO'S!!! I do not know how you do it alone for such a prolonged period of time. These past few months have been harder for me than they normally are and I think its because of Jacelyn and seeing all the things that he is missing. I know it is extremely hard for him. Thank goodness for technology and face time ;) it makes things a little easier at times but it also makes it harder too. Watching my baby girl smile, laugh and reach for daddy every time she sees him on the phone when we face time breaks my heart along with his. I know I am not alone in the world when it comes to mom's raising kids while their other half is out there making the money so we can live comfortably. I know there are people out there who are worse off too. I am so thankful for what I have. It could always be worse.
There is a saying about not judging other's until you've walked a mile in their shoe's. Well I totally agree with this and I can say that I am guilty of judging quickly and wrongly. But I have also been on the receiving end of this for a good chunk of my life and realize I am still being judged and always will be. Lately I've been called lazy and ignorant. Not sure what I have done to deserve this judgement but maybe I am. All I know is that I try as hard as I can to raise 4 kids. I try soo hard to be a good mother, daughter, sister and friend. And when your raising 4 kids semi alone it takes it out of you. So I may not always look perfect and my girls hair might be pulled in a pony everyday for a week, oh well they are happy and healthy!! I am not perfect and have never claimed nor will I ever claim to be. I am just another person out here in this crazy world trying my hardest to do my best.
I have the best neighbors and friends a girl could ever ask for. My neighbor across the street changes my water in he field cause he says he is bored. Yeah right I know he is not bored but he will never know how grateful I am for all his help and I hope he enjoys the rounds of golf I bought him for his help. My other neighbors are awesome!! Even if we don't always talk, just knowing that they are there if I ever need anything makes me feel at ease with things. I am so grateful for their friendship!! And chocolate brownies and cupcakes ;) lol
I hope that everyone has a wonderful Father's Day weekend and if you are fortunate to have your dad close give them an extra special hug for those who will not have the chance to see their dad's this holiday!! Love you all and have a wonderful summer!!!
Monday, March 12, 2012
ENT Visit
On Friday Jake and I took Jacelyn to Primary Children's Hospital to meet with the ENT Specialist. I was really nervous cause this was the day we would find out what the plan would be over the next few months. I already knew that surgery was a must but in the back of my mind I was hoping that it would close on it's own and it wouldn't be required. Wishful thinking on my part I guess.
We get there and the weigh her and she is almost 8.5 pounds and everything looks good. Dr. Meier comes in and takes a look at her neck and says, "Yep its a Branchial Cleft Fistula." So we now have a confirmed diagnoses. Now what is it and what do we do about it. He tells us that if forms between the 2 week and 6 week of development and for some reason it doesn't close off. It's a tube that leads from the outside to the inside of the throat up next to the tonsils in most cases. It looks almost like a worm and can tend to be long. Sometimes, although rare, they can go down into the chest and wrap around the heart. He tells us until the go in they really won't know which way it goes, but if it goes down he stops the surgery and gets another surgeon cause it then requires a whole different kind of surgery. The bad part is that the infection factor is so high. If it gets infected it can put pressure on her throat or her heart just depending on the direction of the tube. He tells us he has done the surgery before and is very comfortable with it.
We then start talking about when to do the surgery. He says they have a 10lbs, 10 week guide line they go by but feels confident that waiting till July will be the best. The smaller the kid is the easier it is to get the tube out and the less likely they are to scar too bad. They will have to make two incisions on the right side of her neck. We have a follow up appointment on June 15th and after that we will schedule the surgery.
While I am scared about my little girl have to be put under and cut into I know that the doctor can get it done and will do a good job. One of my biggest worries is what if it goes down into her chest? Also how do you explain to a 5 month old that they can't eat or drink after midnight? It's going to be a long couple of months but I will be glad when its all over.
We get there and the weigh her and she is almost 8.5 pounds and everything looks good. Dr. Meier comes in and takes a look at her neck and says, "Yep its a Branchial Cleft Fistula." So we now have a confirmed diagnoses. Now what is it and what do we do about it. He tells us that if forms between the 2 week and 6 week of development and for some reason it doesn't close off. It's a tube that leads from the outside to the inside of the throat up next to the tonsils in most cases. It looks almost like a worm and can tend to be long. Sometimes, although rare, they can go down into the chest and wrap around the heart. He tells us until the go in they really won't know which way it goes, but if it goes down he stops the surgery and gets another surgeon cause it then requires a whole different kind of surgery. The bad part is that the infection factor is so high. If it gets infected it can put pressure on her throat or her heart just depending on the direction of the tube. He tells us he has done the surgery before and is very comfortable with it.
We then start talking about when to do the surgery. He says they have a 10lbs, 10 week guide line they go by but feels confident that waiting till July will be the best. The smaller the kid is the easier it is to get the tube out and the less likely they are to scar too bad. They will have to make two incisions on the right side of her neck. We have a follow up appointment on June 15th and after that we will schedule the surgery.
While I am scared about my little girl have to be put under and cut into I know that the doctor can get it done and will do a good job. One of my biggest worries is what if it goes down into her chest? Also how do you explain to a 5 month old that they can't eat or drink after midnight? It's going to be a long couple of months but I will be glad when its all over.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Jacelyn Bonnie Jones
So I have slacking on my blog a lot, but it's been a busy couple of months. January was filled with a lot of nervous energy as we realized we were getting closer to having the baby who still had no bedroom and no name. Jake had to go to work in Seattle when they had a big storm that knocked down a lot of power lines. I am used to him having to go out of town but I was a little nervous this time cause we were getting so close to having the baby. On January 23rd my fears came true, I went into labor. I was super scared cause she was 5 weeks early and Jake was still gone. Lucky for us they were able to get my labor stopped and sent me home to bed. I took it pretty easy after that. The kids were so helpful with helping me carry things up and down the stairs and getting themselves ready for school in the mornings so all I had to do was the girls hair and get them breakfast. I have the best kids ever!! I also have the best neighbors and friends anyone could ever ask for. From doing my chores and running kids to school or picking them up for me. I never had to worry about anything. But even staying down didn't keep labor away. At 36 1/2 weeks I went into labor again. This time it was a little harder to stop, but at least Jake was home. They got it stopped and sent me home to bed again.
Finally on February 15th we welcomed our little girl into the world. Jacelyn Bonnie Jones. She weighed in at 7lbs 4oz and was 19 1/2 inches long and boy was she a hairy little thing ;) We had argued over the name for a long time but this was one that we both liked. Bonnie is Jake's grandma's name and she is one strong cookie! She has been battling cancer for the past few years and she is still just as strong as she was when I first met here. I hope my daughter's will be as strong as her throughout their lives. Labor was pretty easy and nothing really dramatic happened. Which is just fine cause we had, had enough drama with this little one for a while. The older kids have just loved having their baby sister home. They fight over holding her all the time. They are all so stinking cute with her.
After being home a couple days I noticed a dark spot on Jacelyn's neck. When I rubbed my finger over it some clear sticky fluid came out of it. I pointed it out to the doctor at her 5 day check and he informed me that it is called a Branchial Cleft Fistula. He then told me that he has only ever seen two of them and this was the number two. He told me that she would have to have surgery to close it cause it is an opening that goes from the outside of her neck to either the inside of her throat or the surrounding area of her neck. They don't want to do surgery till she is 10 pounds or 6 months, but should it become infected they will do it sooner. I was not prepared to here this after only having her five days prior. He gave us a referral to Primary Children's Hospital and we are seeing Dr. Meier this Friday so that we know exactly what we are dealing with and she has a doctor ready for when it's time for surgery or it gets infected. From what I have read they are very rare and so there isn't a ton of info on the web to read so it will be nice to know what is going on. The next few months are going to be a little nerve wracking but we will get through it.
I will try to keep this updated as we travel down the road to surgery. It's going to be a great spring and summer with the kids growing and learning so much. I'm so excited to take the kids camping, fishing and horseback riding this summer. Going to be a year full of new experiences!!!
Finally on February 15th we welcomed our little girl into the world. Jacelyn Bonnie Jones. She weighed in at 7lbs 4oz and was 19 1/2 inches long and boy was she a hairy little thing ;) We had argued over the name for a long time but this was one that we both liked. Bonnie is Jake's grandma's name and she is one strong cookie! She has been battling cancer for the past few years and she is still just as strong as she was when I first met here. I hope my daughter's will be as strong as her throughout their lives. Labor was pretty easy and nothing really dramatic happened. Which is just fine cause we had, had enough drama with this little one for a while. The older kids have just loved having their baby sister home. They fight over holding her all the time. They are all so stinking cute with her.
After being home a couple days I noticed a dark spot on Jacelyn's neck. When I rubbed my finger over it some clear sticky fluid came out of it. I pointed it out to the doctor at her 5 day check and he informed me that it is called a Branchial Cleft Fistula. He then told me that he has only ever seen two of them and this was the number two. He told me that she would have to have surgery to close it cause it is an opening that goes from the outside of her neck to either the inside of her throat or the surrounding area of her neck. They don't want to do surgery till she is 10 pounds or 6 months, but should it become infected they will do it sooner. I was not prepared to here this after only having her five days prior. He gave us a referral to Primary Children's Hospital and we are seeing Dr. Meier this Friday so that we know exactly what we are dealing with and she has a doctor ready for when it's time for surgery or it gets infected. From what I have read they are very rare and so there isn't a ton of info on the web to read so it will be nice to know what is going on. The next few months are going to be a little nerve wracking but we will get through it.
I will try to keep this updated as we travel down the road to surgery. It's going to be a great spring and summer with the kids growing and learning so much. I'm so excited to take the kids camping, fishing and horseback riding this summer. Going to be a year full of new experiences!!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
My 2011 in a nut shell!!
Well another year has done come and gone. Before I started writing this I took the time to read my post's over the last year, as well as the one's I have been following. For the most part it seems that everyone has had a good year with only a few hiccups along the way. My year has definitely been life changing.
We started our year out with the goal of being sealed as a family in the temple. We achieved that goal on June 30th. Words can't even begin to describe the feeling one feels when they are within the walls of the temple. I was always kind of a skeptic when people would talk about it but I now know what they are talking about and they are 100% right!!! When we went to the temple Jake and I had a secret that only we knew, were going to have another baby.
While I was very excited about it, I was also very scared to tell anyone. I have very good friends and family who had been trying to have a baby for a long time and one that has just miscarried. I didn't know how to tell them. I will admit that I didn't handle the situation very well and I'm afraid that because of my actions some relationships suffered because of it. It breaks my heart everyday knowing I was the cause of it. To those who were hurt by my actions, words will never be able to describe how truly sorry I am and I hope that one day we can be close like we were before.
My first 3 pregnancy's were a cake walk and I didn't realize just how easy they were till this one started. I was so sick that I lost around 20 pounds and in July I hemorrhaged. Lucky for us it healed itself and the bleeding stopped. Jake had just started a job in Wyo. and couldn't get home. I felt so bad for him cause I knew all he wanted was to be home to help me. After 4 weeks he was able to come home and has been close ever since.
A couple months later I ended up having a panic attack that sent me in with contractions. Lucky for me the doctor's here in town were able to give me an injection to help me calm down and stop the contractions that had started. That put me on bed rest for a few weeks. Bed rest + 3 kids + alone= not easy!! With my other kids I had my mom, Jake's mom, aunts, cousin's, friends and my sister all within 10 mins of me but this time I'm really alone. It was hard but I got through it.
Everything started to even out and I started to finally gain some weight in October. In December I went for my app and the doctor listened to the babies heart and you could see on his face that he didn't like what he heard. He turned it up so I could hear really good and there it was a pause. It was almost like her heart just stopped and then decided to start back up. If anyone knows my mom they know she had a baby that had a heart defect and resulted in a stillborn. I wanted to die right then and there. I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen. He scheduled me for another in depth ultra sound and told me to go home rest and not worry. Yeah right, not worry whatever!!! We went for the ultra sound and got the best news ever. There is no defect of her heart and the whole time we were there it beat just fine. Whatever that had caused the pause had fixed itself. But they are still watching it really close just in case it's something that only happens once and awhile like a murmur.
December was a busy month. Wyatt had his 8th birthday and the 2nd. Jake baptized him on the 10th. It was so neat to see Jake do what neither of our dad's could do at the time of our baptisms. Wyatt was so excited he wanted Jake to dunk him again. Jordyn had her 6th birthday on the 23rd. We went a visited family and saw the Christmas lights at Willard Bay on the way home. Christmas was lots of fun and having the kids home for almost 2 weeks was nice yet stressful at the same time. I had Jake home for New Year's for the first time in 3 years and we watched the ball drop while laying in bed. We are old cause right after we turned the TV off and went to sleep.
Over all we had a good year full of camping, horseback riding and family time. There were a few bumps in our road but we are all closer than I think we have ever been. Now we gear up for the big year a head. The baby will be here in February and we still have lots to do before she gets here. I hope we all can have a great year!!!
We started our year out with the goal of being sealed as a family in the temple. We achieved that goal on June 30th. Words can't even begin to describe the feeling one feels when they are within the walls of the temple. I was always kind of a skeptic when people would talk about it but I now know what they are talking about and they are 100% right!!! When we went to the temple Jake and I had a secret that only we knew, were going to have another baby.
While I was very excited about it, I was also very scared to tell anyone. I have very good friends and family who had been trying to have a baby for a long time and one that has just miscarried. I didn't know how to tell them. I will admit that I didn't handle the situation very well and I'm afraid that because of my actions some relationships suffered because of it. It breaks my heart everyday knowing I was the cause of it. To those who were hurt by my actions, words will never be able to describe how truly sorry I am and I hope that one day we can be close like we were before.
My first 3 pregnancy's were a cake walk and I didn't realize just how easy they were till this one started. I was so sick that I lost around 20 pounds and in July I hemorrhaged. Lucky for us it healed itself and the bleeding stopped. Jake had just started a job in Wyo. and couldn't get home. I felt so bad for him cause I knew all he wanted was to be home to help me. After 4 weeks he was able to come home and has been close ever since.
A couple months later I ended up having a panic attack that sent me in with contractions. Lucky for me the doctor's here in town were able to give me an injection to help me calm down and stop the contractions that had started. That put me on bed rest for a few weeks. Bed rest + 3 kids + alone= not easy!! With my other kids I had my mom, Jake's mom, aunts, cousin's, friends and my sister all within 10 mins of me but this time I'm really alone. It was hard but I got through it.
Everything started to even out and I started to finally gain some weight in October. In December I went for my app and the doctor listened to the babies heart and you could see on his face that he didn't like what he heard. He turned it up so I could hear really good and there it was a pause. It was almost like her heart just stopped and then decided to start back up. If anyone knows my mom they know she had a baby that had a heart defect and resulted in a stillborn. I wanted to die right then and there. I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen. He scheduled me for another in depth ultra sound and told me to go home rest and not worry. Yeah right, not worry whatever!!! We went for the ultra sound and got the best news ever. There is no defect of her heart and the whole time we were there it beat just fine. Whatever that had caused the pause had fixed itself. But they are still watching it really close just in case it's something that only happens once and awhile like a murmur.
December was a busy month. Wyatt had his 8th birthday and the 2nd. Jake baptized him on the 10th. It was so neat to see Jake do what neither of our dad's could do at the time of our baptisms. Wyatt was so excited he wanted Jake to dunk him again. Jordyn had her 6th birthday on the 23rd. We went a visited family and saw the Christmas lights at Willard Bay on the way home. Christmas was lots of fun and having the kids home for almost 2 weeks was nice yet stressful at the same time. I had Jake home for New Year's for the first time in 3 years and we watched the ball drop while laying in bed. We are old cause right after we turned the TV off and went to sleep.
Over all we had a good year full of camping, horseback riding and family time. There were a few bumps in our road but we are all closer than I think we have ever been. Now we gear up for the big year a head. The baby will be here in February and we still have lots to do before she gets here. I hope we all can have a great year!!!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Update time!!
Well its been a few months since I have updated this thing. I am so horrible at this. So I had better get it updated. We found out that a month ago that we are having another baby girl!! We are really excited about it but the kids were a little bummed cause they really wanted a little brother. Everything has been going pretty good and I am happy to say I have reached my pre-pregnancy weight and I've gained a few pounds. There for awhile I was wondering if I would ever eat real food again. They have moved my due date up a couple days to Feb 26th. It's so crazy to think that it is already half over.
The kids are loving school and doing so well. Wyatt is doing sooo much better with his reading and his math skills are awesome!!! Jordyn is scoring way high in her state testing which really doesn't surprise me, she is too smart for her own good sometimes. Jailey is doing awesome too and I don't doubt that when kindergarten comes she will be more than ready. They ask me everyday when the baby is going to come out. I think they are a little anxious.
Jake has been working in Salt Lake the last few months so he has been able to come home every weekend which has been great. He is such a big help to me with the kids and things around the house. He took Wyatt hunting for the first time this year and they got a little buck which Wyatt thought was the biggest deer on the mountain. He is such a good dad. He had a week off and he spent every second he could with the kids and me. He colored with them, rode horses and watched T.V. with them. He also watched them so that I could spend sometime with my family while my grandpa was in the hospital.
It's been a crazy couple months and it's only going to get crazier! Jake's birthday is tomorrow and mine is Tuesday. Then Thanksgiving comes and then we have Wyatt and Jordyn's birthday's in December and then Christmas. Then we have a few weeks to recoup before the baby comes. I will try my hardest to keep this thing updated, but if not Happy Holidays to all of you!!!!
The kids are loving school and doing so well. Wyatt is doing sooo much better with his reading and his math skills are awesome!!! Jordyn is scoring way high in her state testing which really doesn't surprise me, she is too smart for her own good sometimes. Jailey is doing awesome too and I don't doubt that when kindergarten comes she will be more than ready. They ask me everyday when the baby is going to come out. I think they are a little anxious.
Jake has been working in Salt Lake the last few months so he has been able to come home every weekend which has been great. He is such a big help to me with the kids and things around the house. He took Wyatt hunting for the first time this year and they got a little buck which Wyatt thought was the biggest deer on the mountain. He is such a good dad. He had a week off and he spent every second he could with the kids and me. He colored with them, rode horses and watched T.V. with them. He also watched them so that I could spend sometime with my family while my grandpa was in the hospital.
It's been a crazy couple months and it's only going to get crazier! Jake's birthday is tomorrow and mine is Tuesday. Then Thanksgiving comes and then we have Wyatt and Jordyn's birthday's in December and then Christmas. Then we have a few weeks to recoup before the baby comes. I will try my hardest to keep this thing updated, but if not Happy Holidays to all of you!!!!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Where has summer gone?!?!
I have been such a slacker with my blog this summer, so hang with me while I catch everyone up. June 30th we were sealed as an eternal family. It was an amazing day! Words can't even describe the overwhelming feeling of peace I felt that day. We had lots of family and many friends come out to share our special day. I am very lucky to have the family and friends that I have. I don't know what I would do without their love and support in this big change. If you had told me over a year ago what my life would be like today I would have called you a liar. I never thought that all of this could be mine. I hadn't lived a spot free life and I am not perfect. It took a lot of prayer and self examination to realize that I was just living a small part of the life I could live. Ever since I decided things needed to change a little I have never been happier. It's kind of funny cause when I was younger I was the outsider cause I didn't go to church and that was okay with me, but I find it a little hard to be the outsider because we now are active in the church. The people that are suppose to be your friends kind of look at you different and treat you different. We are the same people we used to be. We just have chosen to not do some things that we used to do. We still love to hangout with friends and have fun. But anyway that's a little heavy and I have more stuff to write about ;)
We have been having issues with Jordyn and her stomach for the last few months. Finally after trying all kinds of meds we went to see a Peds GI and he ran a ton of tests. I am hoping that we will finally find out what is causing her so much pain. Jake is now working out of town again. He called me on his way home one Friday and said "I quit my job" I just about died! What was he thinking?? Well he likes to make me sweat a little before he tells me that he got a offer to work lots of hours and make a little more money. The catch is he has been gone for a month now. But we are hoping that they will have some work in Salt Lake this fall! He should be headed back this way next week.
The kids are growing up so fast!! They are very excited to start school in two weeks! Wyatt will be in 2nd grade and Jordyn will be in kindergarten. Jailey will be in her last year of preschool. It is so crazy how fast time slips by. They however are even more excited for the 1st of March cause that is when their new little brother or sister is suppose to arrive!
Yes you read right, we are expecting #4 the first of March. I know what all of you are thinking "They are crazy" or "Why start over" I'll fill you in on that. Last fall why redoing our living room Jake kept saying that the girls should move downstairs and their room would make a great nursery. I looked at him like he had sprouted another head. He has never in all the years I've been married to him suggested we have another kid. I have secretly wanted one for awhile now but I thought I had know how Jake felt about it so I didn't bring it up. Well when he said that I decided we should talk about it. He told me to find out with my doctor's what all I would have to do to even think about trying. The meds I have been on for over 3 years have done damage to my liver and are very dangerous to a baby. The doctor's told me that I had to go off all my meds for at least 6 months so in December I stopped them all except one that I had to only be off of for 1 month. They told me that it was going to be hard and that I would experience lots of pain coming off the meds. Which was the truth, but I just kept thinking about the end results. When we got the okay from my doctor's they warned me that it could take awhile for me to get pregnant because of my RA. Well being the (as my sister likes to call me) Fertile Mertal that I am it took 2 months. We found out the week before we went to the temple so that made the experience even more special, cause all of our children were there. I had a hard time telling a people cause I'm scared of their reactions and we kept it quite for awhile too cause I have had a few problems, but everything is going good now. I am really nervous and excited. I have never been so sick in my life. I was never sick with the other ones. I feel like this is the first time all over again.
So that's a little about our crazy summer!! And I hope nobody is made about me keeping our secret for awhile!! Hope everyone enjoys the last 2 weeks of their summer!!!
We have been having issues with Jordyn and her stomach for the last few months. Finally after trying all kinds of meds we went to see a Peds GI and he ran a ton of tests. I am hoping that we will finally find out what is causing her so much pain. Jake is now working out of town again. He called me on his way home one Friday and said "I quit my job" I just about died! What was he thinking?? Well he likes to make me sweat a little before he tells me that he got a offer to work lots of hours and make a little more money. The catch is he has been gone for a month now. But we are hoping that they will have some work in Salt Lake this fall! He should be headed back this way next week.
The kids are growing up so fast!! They are very excited to start school in two weeks! Wyatt will be in 2nd grade and Jordyn will be in kindergarten. Jailey will be in her last year of preschool. It is so crazy how fast time slips by. They however are even more excited for the 1st of March cause that is when their new little brother or sister is suppose to arrive!
Yes you read right, we are expecting #4 the first of March. I know what all of you are thinking "They are crazy" or "Why start over" I'll fill you in on that. Last fall why redoing our living room Jake kept saying that the girls should move downstairs and their room would make a great nursery. I looked at him like he had sprouted another head. He has never in all the years I've been married to him suggested we have another kid. I have secretly wanted one for awhile now but I thought I had know how Jake felt about it so I didn't bring it up. Well when he said that I decided we should talk about it. He told me to find out with my doctor's what all I would have to do to even think about trying. The meds I have been on for over 3 years have done damage to my liver and are very dangerous to a baby. The doctor's told me that I had to go off all my meds for at least 6 months so in December I stopped them all except one that I had to only be off of for 1 month. They told me that it was going to be hard and that I would experience lots of pain coming off the meds. Which was the truth, but I just kept thinking about the end results. When we got the okay from my doctor's they warned me that it could take awhile for me to get pregnant because of my RA. Well being the (as my sister likes to call me) Fertile Mertal that I am it took 2 months. We found out the week before we went to the temple so that made the experience even more special, cause all of our children were there. I had a hard time telling a people cause I'm scared of their reactions and we kept it quite for awhile too cause I have had a few problems, but everything is going good now. I am really nervous and excited. I have never been so sick in my life. I was never sick with the other ones. I feel like this is the first time all over again.
So that's a little about our crazy summer!! And I hope nobody is made about me keeping our secret for awhile!! Hope everyone enjoys the last 2 weeks of their summer!!!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Date Has Been Set!!!!!!
I have been horrible at keeping my blog updated and I am sorry for those of you who actually like reading my randomness. A lot has been going on around here it seems like. Jake as been working really close to home so he is able to come home on the weekends. I have really enjoyed this. The kids have loved having their dad home. He is so good with them. He has had them outside digging in the dirt and having the girl collecting worms ;) They are his little helpers and they love it. My yard is starting to look awesome.
We celebrated our 8th anniversary on the 5th of this month. It is so crazy that we have been married that long. We have been together for almost 11 years. I knew when I met him we were suppose to be together. Not saying things weren't a little hard at times but we made it through them. Now we are about to take our next big step and that is being sealed for time and all eternity in the Logan temple on the 30th of June!!! I am so excited for this I can't even describe it. We were married on the first Thursday in June and we will be getting sealed on the last Thursday in June. Jake says I am weird but I think that is kind of cool.
Getting to the temple hasn't been a walk in the park and its been a emotional process. It has brought us closer than we have been in a long time. It is so overwhelming when I look back at the last few years and see how far I have come. All because a dear friend of mine saw something in me that I didn't see in myself and made me feel like I could do it. The next month is going to be hectic but it will be great. If any of you want details on our sealing please let me know!! Thanks for all the support and love. Keeps us in your prayers for the next month cause I know its not going to be easy cause a certain someone is going to try everything he can to keep us from our goal and he is not going to win!!!!!
We celebrated our 8th anniversary on the 5th of this month. It is so crazy that we have been married that long. We have been together for almost 11 years. I knew when I met him we were suppose to be together. Not saying things weren't a little hard at times but we made it through them. Now we are about to take our next big step and that is being sealed for time and all eternity in the Logan temple on the 30th of June!!! I am so excited for this I can't even describe it. We were married on the first Thursday in June and we will be getting sealed on the last Thursday in June. Jake says I am weird but I think that is kind of cool.
Getting to the temple hasn't been a walk in the park and its been a emotional process. It has brought us closer than we have been in a long time. It is so overwhelming when I look back at the last few years and see how far I have come. All because a dear friend of mine saw something in me that I didn't see in myself and made me feel like I could do it. The next month is going to be hectic but it will be great. If any of you want details on our sealing please let me know!! Thanks for all the support and love. Keeps us in your prayers for the next month cause I know its not going to be easy cause a certain someone is going to try everything he can to keep us from our goal and he is not going to win!!!!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
WOW!!!
Since my last post somethings have changed. The Wednesday after Jake was ordained and Elder I got a phone call asking if I could meet with the bishop. I said that wouldn't be a problem. I thought it was just going to be an interview to get me going on getting my temple recommend. Boy was I wrong. When I showed up to the church and Brother Jones met me at the door and went into the Bishop's office with me I knew this wasn't a temple recommend interview this was a calling interview. They told me how the Lord had a road map set out for me and that map had brought me to his office. He asked me if I would be willing to be the Primary Sec. I was a little nervous about it but I said yes that I would. Well I got a call that Saturday from the Bishop and he asked if he could stop by my house for a min. I said that would be fine. I had a bunch of thoughts running through my head thinking what did I do now!! I haven't even started my job yet. When he came by he said there had been a miscommunication and he needed me to be the 2nd counselor. Well this is a even bigger job cause it requires me to actually teach the kids. I thought about it for a min and I had a good feeling so I said yes! The sisters in the presidency are just great!! I am very excited about it!!
In Jake's blessing he was blessed that his work might bring him closer to home. We all laughed a little about that cause he never works very close. He works for my uncle right now and he was there for the blessing and said looks like we might be getting work closer to home because of your blessing. We all laughed about that too. Well here we are a month later and he is working close to home for at least 5 months. I have been praying that this would happen so that he could attend the temple classes with me so that we can get to the temple soon and it now looks like that will happen. June is our goal!! I do believe our prayers have been answered!!!
Our life is changing by leaps and bounds!! I can't wait to see what waits ahead!!!!
In Jake's blessing he was blessed that his work might bring him closer to home. We all laughed a little about that cause he never works very close. He works for my uncle right now and he was there for the blessing and said looks like we might be getting work closer to home because of your blessing. We all laughed about that too. Well here we are a month later and he is working close to home for at least 5 months. I have been praying that this would happen so that he could attend the temple classes with me so that we can get to the temple soon and it now looks like that will happen. June is our goal!! I do believe our prayers have been answered!!!
Our life is changing by leaps and bounds!! I can't wait to see what waits ahead!!!!
Monday, March 7, 2011
And if men come unto me I will show them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Ether 12:27
I have thought about the above passage a lot over the last few months. Out of all that I have read this passage hits me the hardest. For the longest time I thought of myself as someone who had their stuff together, boy was I wrong. Over the past 3 years I have had trial after trial come before me and I got through them, or so I thought. Little did I know I was just brushing things under the rug. Then one day it all came to a head and I fell apart. I realized I wasn't as strong of a person as I thought I was. I pulled out a copy of the Book of Mormon that my kids had gotten from their Aunt Nicole and started thumbing through it. I stopped at this verse and read it over and over. I had been shown my weaknesses without the rose colored glasses that I had been wearing for far to long. I finally realized what had been missing in my life and what I needed to do.
I have made the changes that I needed to do and I am still making changes. Each day is a test and more days than others I pass but there are days that I start to question if I am strong enough to pass these tests put in front of me. When I get thinking like I open my scriptures and read this passage over and over till I get the feeling that everything will be okay. I loving what my changes have done to my family and how close we have gotten. I love how me and Jake sit and talk about church stuff all the time. It has been an adjustment but not a hard one. I have been humbled and I know that one day my weaknesses will be made strengths.
We had the most wonderful weekend. We went to Stake Conference where Jake was sustained and Elder in the church. Sunday night some of our family members and friends came for dinner and then went with us up to the church where Jake's dad Tony ordained him as an Elder. The blessing was so beautiful. I am so happy that my husband is now a priesthood holder. Our journey is just getting started and I am so excited about where we will end up in the end!
I have thought about the above passage a lot over the last few months. Out of all that I have read this passage hits me the hardest. For the longest time I thought of myself as someone who had their stuff together, boy was I wrong. Over the past 3 years I have had trial after trial come before me and I got through them, or so I thought. Little did I know I was just brushing things under the rug. Then one day it all came to a head and I fell apart. I realized I wasn't as strong of a person as I thought I was. I pulled out a copy of the Book of Mormon that my kids had gotten from their Aunt Nicole and started thumbing through it. I stopped at this verse and read it over and over. I had been shown my weaknesses without the rose colored glasses that I had been wearing for far to long. I finally realized what had been missing in my life and what I needed to do.
I have made the changes that I needed to do and I am still making changes. Each day is a test and more days than others I pass but there are days that I start to question if I am strong enough to pass these tests put in front of me. When I get thinking like I open my scriptures and read this passage over and over till I get the feeling that everything will be okay. I loving what my changes have done to my family and how close we have gotten. I love how me and Jake sit and talk about church stuff all the time. It has been an adjustment but not a hard one. I have been humbled and I know that one day my weaknesses will be made strengths.
We had the most wonderful weekend. We went to Stake Conference where Jake was sustained and Elder in the church. Sunday night some of our family members and friends came for dinner and then went with us up to the church where Jake's dad Tony ordained him as an Elder. The blessing was so beautiful. I am so happy that my husband is now a priesthood holder. Our journey is just getting started and I am so excited about where we will end up in the end!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Time for an update!!
Well it's been awhile since I have updated this thing so i figured I had better get on it. Not a whole lot has really been going on in the last month. Kids have all been pretty healthy for the most part and so have I. I went to the doctor today for my monthly infusion and it went pretty good. Jake is still working in southern California. He hates it and wants to come home. I want him to come home. He will be flying in on Friday and will be getting ordained and Elder. I am very excited for this to happen. It puts us that much closer to the temple. We had our pa blessings done and it was such a neat experience. I can't believe I waited this long to have mine done.
Been going through with drawls from the race track. I haven't been to one chariot race this season and I kind of miss it. I miss playing with the horses and the adult interaction after a week of being with the kids. I miss the friends I made down there. I am hoping to make it to Worlds in a few weeks but we will see. I had such a good time down there last year and I would kick myself if I didn't at least go to one race. Last year I didn't miss one! I am hoping to get feeling good enough that I will be able to start riding them again with my cousin Cody. We got really close over the past year and it makes me really happy that we can share something together. Although he has made a kind of career as a jockey, I would like to run one race and then I would be happy. But for now I will take just galloping them!
Well got a busy week and month! Hopefully my next post will be longer with some good news about a temple date!!
Been going through with drawls from the race track. I haven't been to one chariot race this season and I kind of miss it. I miss playing with the horses and the adult interaction after a week of being with the kids. I miss the friends I made down there. I am hoping to make it to Worlds in a few weeks but we will see. I had such a good time down there last year and I would kick myself if I didn't at least go to one race. Last year I didn't miss one! I am hoping to get feeling good enough that I will be able to start riding them again with my cousin Cody. We got really close over the past year and it makes me really happy that we can share something together. Although he has made a kind of career as a jockey, I would like to run one race and then I would be happy. But for now I will take just galloping them!
Well got a busy week and month! Hopefully my next post will be longer with some good news about a temple date!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Well the last two weeks have been really nice. Jake has been home for two weeks and I have loved it. He has been so helpful with the kids and it has given me a much needed break. I have been hurting really bad lately cause I have gone off one of my meds. It was a shot that I was giving myself once a week and its called Methotrexate. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's chemo. Needless to say I felt like crap for 5 out of the 7 days of the week. My hair is pretty thick so the hair loss that occurs isn't that noticeable. Another side effect is my liver freaks out and I turn a lovely shade of yellow. We are going to try something else but in order for that to happen I have to be off that medicine for at least 4 months. I will be two months in on the 10th. It has been a long two months. I go this Friday for my month IV infusion and I can hardly wait. This new medicine has been helping a lot but I am a little nervous to see how it works when it's not paired with the other drug. They usually walk hand in hand. I am pretty hopeful the new thing we are going to do will help a lot for a little while. It could take a few months till we know for sure if it will help. So all in all I am looking at a good six months till I know if the new thing will work. Two months down tho!
Jake leaves this Saturday to go to Southern California for work. He will be out there for a few months but he will be flying home as often as he can and I hope to go out and see him at least once since I have never been to California. We are both getting our patriarchal blessing done on the 13th of February. I am very excited about this. It is something I have always wanted done. Jake will be ordained an Elder on the 6th of March and then we are temple bound as soon as the Bishop gives us the okay. I am so excited. I am hoping to go in June but I am not picky. I will go whenever the Bishop says we are ready. I have been truly blessed and continue to be blessed each and everyday!
Jake leaves this Saturday to go to Southern California for work. He will be out there for a few months but he will be flying home as often as he can and I hope to go out and see him at least once since I have never been to California. We are both getting our patriarchal blessing done on the 13th of February. I am very excited about this. It is something I have always wanted done. Jake will be ordained an Elder on the 6th of March and then we are temple bound as soon as the Bishop gives us the okay. I am so excited. I am hoping to go in June but I am not picky. I will go whenever the Bishop says we are ready. I have been truly blessed and continue to be blessed each and everyday!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Changes are coming!
I have been lacking in keeping my blog updated because of all the things that have been happening in our lives. We have been experiencing such great things these days. We met with our bishop last Sunday and I left with the most wonderful feeling. As we sat there and discussed the things that need to happen and when he gave us a small idea of what will happen once we are in the walls of the temple I broke down in tears. To think that I have been denying my family the blessings that come from being sealed to each other was almost to much to think about. The feeling of peace I got when I closed my eyes and pictured it in my mind the tears increased in pace. Our bishop was very excited to see our reaction to the things he said. He said he can see how much this means to us and wants to get us going asap.
First step is getting Jake ordained and Elder and we are happy to say that if everything goes as planned that will happen March 6th. The blessings we will receive by having a priesthood holder in our home will in measurable. We will also be starting temple readiness classes as soon as it can be arranged. That will be a little hard with Jake being out of town a lot but the bishop seemed to think it would all work out.
I find myself very weepy lately. I am not sure why that is. I wish I could blame it on being pregnant but I know for a fact that is not the reason. I do think it is because I am so in tuned with the spirit these days I just don't know what to do with all the emotions and they are flowing right out of me. The missionaries told me once that the Holy Ghost doesn't "hit" you over the head very often but when he does you know it and your life changes forever. I can attest to that for sure. October 10th 2010 is the day I was "hit" over the head and decided I needed to make some changes in my life. I have always wanted to go to the temple with my family but always figured we could go later. Well, we are never guaranteed later. One never knows what will happen day to day. The very thought that I could walk through eternity alone and without my family makes me sick. I am going to live my life the way that He would have me live it so that I along with my family will be worthy to walk with Him again one day. It is going to be a long hard road but I know that if I stay close to my family and my faith, we will get to our goal!! I love each and everyone of you and if you haven't found the peace I speak of I truly hope that one day you to will be "hit" over the head!!!
First step is getting Jake ordained and Elder and we are happy to say that if everything goes as planned that will happen March 6th. The blessings we will receive by having a priesthood holder in our home will in measurable. We will also be starting temple readiness classes as soon as it can be arranged. That will be a little hard with Jake being out of town a lot but the bishop seemed to think it would all work out.
I find myself very weepy lately. I am not sure why that is. I wish I could blame it on being pregnant but I know for a fact that is not the reason. I do think it is because I am so in tuned with the spirit these days I just don't know what to do with all the emotions and they are flowing right out of me. The missionaries told me once that the Holy Ghost doesn't "hit" you over the head very often but when he does you know it and your life changes forever. I can attest to that for sure. October 10th 2010 is the day I was "hit" over the head and decided I needed to make some changes in my life. I have always wanted to go to the temple with my family but always figured we could go later. Well, we are never guaranteed later. One never knows what will happen day to day. The very thought that I could walk through eternity alone and without my family makes me sick. I am going to live my life the way that He would have me live it so that I along with my family will be worthy to walk with Him again one day. It is going to be a long hard road but I know that if I stay close to my family and my faith, we will get to our goal!! I love each and everyone of you and if you haven't found the peace I speak of I truly hope that one day you to will be "hit" over the head!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
2010 is ending!!
Well as then end of 2010 comes very near, I can't help but sit back and think about the past year. We had a lot of challenges and blessing in this last year. Our biggest challenges continue to be Jake working out of town a lot and my health My arthritis seems to be under control for the most part with the occasional flare up here and there. Which is to be expected with this disease.
Lately I have thinking about the future and what I would like to do in the coming year. The biggest thing on my list is have another baby but this one will be hard to achieve. I am blessed with 3 beautiful children that keep me hopping day to day and I love it! But I have this feeling in my heart that there is someone missing. When I have talked to family or friends about it they tell me I am crazy and not healthy enough for it. It upsets me every time I hear this and makes me start thinking maybe I am really not healthy enough for it. But that nagging feeling keeps coming back and it is so strong at times that it makes me want to cry cause I feel so helpless to do anything about it. I know I sound crazy I guess. 3 kids alone half the time how could I possibly do it? I have tried really hard to convince myself to be happy with what I have now and I am but its just that feeling that keeps coming back. Jake keeps telling me he will think about it but we have all been kids and know what that always means. NO!! I just wish men could feel what us mothers feel when we have that baby growing inside of us and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is truly a gift from God. I have been very blessed to have experienced this 3 times and maybe I should be content with that but it is really hard to except.
Maybe with some praying and thinking, both me and Jake can come to a decision that will benefit the family and we will both be happy with it. I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season and that the new year find you all happy and in good health.
Lately I have thinking about the future and what I would like to do in the coming year. The biggest thing on my list is have another baby but this one will be hard to achieve. I am blessed with 3 beautiful children that keep me hopping day to day and I love it! But I have this feeling in my heart that there is someone missing. When I have talked to family or friends about it they tell me I am crazy and not healthy enough for it. It upsets me every time I hear this and makes me start thinking maybe I am really not healthy enough for it. But that nagging feeling keeps coming back and it is so strong at times that it makes me want to cry cause I feel so helpless to do anything about it. I know I sound crazy I guess. 3 kids alone half the time how could I possibly do it? I have tried really hard to convince myself to be happy with what I have now and I am but its just that feeling that keeps coming back. Jake keeps telling me he will think about it but we have all been kids and know what that always means. NO!! I just wish men could feel what us mothers feel when we have that baby growing inside of us and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is truly a gift from God. I have been very blessed to have experienced this 3 times and maybe I should be content with that but it is really hard to except.
Maybe with some praying and thinking, both me and Jake can come to a decision that will benefit the family and we will both be happy with it. I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season and that the new year find you all happy and in good health.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
When it rains it pours!!
Where do I start. This holiday season is not really getting off to the best start. Kids have been sick I have been sick and we seem to keep giving it to each other over and over. Jake is lucky he is staying with his mom while he is working in Salt Lake or he would be sick too. But I am hoping that it will all be over soon. My sister in law Nicole had her baby girl last night and I have heard everything went well. I have no word on a name yet but I did get a picture sent to my phone and she is sooo cute!! I cant wait to cuddle her a little bit. After and only after I have passed all sickness test cause I have had a baby with RSV and will not be getting anywhere near that little girl if me or my kids have even the smallest sniffle.
I got some rather disturbing test results last week and it has kind of knocked me flat on my butt. When the doctor himself calls you and leaves a message saying call me back asap, it can be kind of nerve wracking. I try not to worry to much but it is really hard. I heard a song that kind of made me think I am a strong person and I will get through all of this and if not I will die trying!! I wanted to share the lyrics with you all.
I got some rather disturbing test results last week and it has kind of knocked me flat on my butt. When the doctor himself calls you and leaves a message saying call me back asap, it can be kind of nerve wracking. I try not to worry to much but it is really hard. I heard a song that kind of made me think I am a strong person and I will get through all of this and if not I will die trying!! I wanted to share the lyrics with you all.
Country Strong by Gwyneth Paltrow
I know you see me
Like some wide eyed dreamer
That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus
Yeah, on the outside I look fragile
But on the inside is something you can’t crush
Cause I'm country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I'll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I have weathered
Colder winters; Longer summers
Without a drop of rain
Push me in a corner
And I’ll come out fighting
I may lose but I ‘ll always keep my faith
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I’m country strong
Yeah, I’m country strong
I’m country strong
I’m country strong
I’m country strong
Like some wide eyed dreamer
That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus
Yeah, on the outside I look fragile
But on the inside is something you can’t crush
Cause I'm country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I'll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I have weathered
Colder winters; Longer summers
Without a drop of rain
Push me in a corner
And I’ll come out fighting
I may lose but I ‘ll always keep my faith
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I’m country strong
Yeah, I’m country strong
I’m country strong
I’m country strong
I’m country strong
This song is so true!! I am going to make this holiday season the best one I can. I bore my testimony for the first time in my adult life Sunday. I cant believe the peace that came over me while standing up there in front of people who really don't know me and telling them what I believe in. I did cry and kind of felt foolish but I know those were cleansing tears for me. I felt so much lighter afterwords. My visiting teacher came to me in tears after the meeting and said,"I drove by your house on my way to work and this thought came into my head out of no where and it was "Take care of Emberly" Now I know why." This brought on more tears from me when I realized God really does have people out there to help me. All I have to do is ask for the help. I am a very stubborn woman and I don't ask for help often but knowing its there is a great comfort to me cause I know in the coming weeks and months I am really going to need it.
Happy Holidays all and remember what this season is about. Take care of one another for you never know who is just to stubborn to ask for the help!!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tis the season for giving!!
Yesterday was Wyatt's 7th birthday and it was a really good day. We had pizza, cake and of course presents. Grandma and Grandpa Clark were here along with, Audrie, Chelsey, Josh and Preston. We had a fun night watching him unwrap his gifts.
Today I have put together a project for my kids. They are going through all the toys in their room and putting them in three piles: Toys to keep, Toys that are broken and Toys that we no longer play with. I explained to them that the toys that are in the pile that they no longer play with will be given to kids that don't have any toys. I am amazed how quickly they got to work. The pile of toys for other kids is bigger than the pile to keep and this is just the toys in their room. We will be tackling the toy room tomorrow.
While cleaning Jailey my three year old brought me a handful of nickles, pennies, dimes, and quarters. And with all the wisdom of a three your old she says," Mommy can we give this money to people who don't have any?" It took everything I had not to start crying and make her think she had done something wrong. I took the money in my hand and said,"Of course we can love bug." We put the money on the counter so that we can go put it in the sub for Santa can. They pile is growing there also.
It is amazing how a three year old can have the insight that tho people are going with toys that they may be going without money too. It has inspired me to try and give more to those who are less fortunate than I am. If we all can take a page from my little girls book I truly think that this world would be a better place. I hope that this story helps you guys get in touch with the spirit of the season and remember it is the season of giving and not getting.
Today I have put together a project for my kids. They are going through all the toys in their room and putting them in three piles: Toys to keep, Toys that are broken and Toys that we no longer play with. I explained to them that the toys that are in the pile that they no longer play with will be given to kids that don't have any toys. I am amazed how quickly they got to work. The pile of toys for other kids is bigger than the pile to keep and this is just the toys in their room. We will be tackling the toy room tomorrow.
While cleaning Jailey my three year old brought me a handful of nickles, pennies, dimes, and quarters. And with all the wisdom of a three your old she says," Mommy can we give this money to people who don't have any?" It took everything I had not to start crying and make her think she had done something wrong. I took the money in my hand and said,"Of course we can love bug." We put the money on the counter so that we can go put it in the sub for Santa can. They pile is growing there also.
It is amazing how a three year old can have the insight that tho people are going with toys that they may be going without money too. It has inspired me to try and give more to those who are less fortunate than I am. If we all can take a page from my little girls book I truly think that this world would be a better place. I hope that this story helps you guys get in touch with the spirit of the season and remember it is the season of giving and not getting.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I give up!
Well I give up on the 30 days of truth thing. I tried really hard but its really hard cause I feel like I am lying on a few of them and don't really know how to answer some of the others. So I have decided that I am going to do them in a journal so that I have them for myself and no one else can criticize what I write for the answers. So anyway I am going to get back to talking about what is important to me in life and that is my family.
For the last month or so we have been very fortunate to have Jake home every night. I almost feel spoiled cause that hasn't happened in 2 years. Right now he is down in Salt Lake on storm work. Tis the season for power outages. He is my hero! He goes out in the rain, snow, cold and wind so that we can all stay nice and warm in our homes. Linemen are for sure the unsung hero's out there.
So my health is still pretty crappy. I thought for the longest time that the new meds were working, but I am hurting worse than ever it seems like. My back has been killing me cause the arthritis has settled into my spine and the muscles are tight to protect my spine. Or that's what they are telling me. But my liver and kidneys tests have been off so I am thinking we are looking at the beginning of kidney and liver failure. I am hoping that is not the case. I had a blessing my the missionaries the other night and it was really nice and left me with a little comfort. The hardest part is I cant sit or stand or lay for long. I have been going to PT and it helps for a few hours but the pain always comes back and it's usually worse. I just want to give up and lay in bed but having 3 small children that is not possible.
We have been going to church on a regular basis and having the missionaries come once a week. We are going to be meeting with the bishop soon so we can start working towards the temple. For the first time today in probably my whole life I paid a full tithing. I felt so good as I handed it to Bishop Armstrong. First big step in our path to the temple. We are hoping that we can have everything ready to go by our 8th anniversary in June.
The kids are all doing great. They love primary so much. They are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new cousin any day from their Aunt Nicole and to tell you the truth so am I. They have been talking a lot about babies. Jordyn said the other day that she wanted a baby sister and Wyatt got all upset and said" YOU HAVE A SISTER!! I WANT A BROTHER!!! I just started laughing. I would love to have another baby but I just don't see that happening. They say RA goes into a kind of remission while pregnant and that right there made me say lets do it but I just don't know if I could do 4 kids alone. I would really like one tho.
Well I am starting to hurt sitting here so I guess that is my Que to get up and get everyone ready for bed.
For the last month or so we have been very fortunate to have Jake home every night. I almost feel spoiled cause that hasn't happened in 2 years. Right now he is down in Salt Lake on storm work. Tis the season for power outages. He is my hero! He goes out in the rain, snow, cold and wind so that we can all stay nice and warm in our homes. Linemen are for sure the unsung hero's out there.
So my health is still pretty crappy. I thought for the longest time that the new meds were working, but I am hurting worse than ever it seems like. My back has been killing me cause the arthritis has settled into my spine and the muscles are tight to protect my spine. Or that's what they are telling me. But my liver and kidneys tests have been off so I am thinking we are looking at the beginning of kidney and liver failure. I am hoping that is not the case. I had a blessing my the missionaries the other night and it was really nice and left me with a little comfort. The hardest part is I cant sit or stand or lay for long. I have been going to PT and it helps for a few hours but the pain always comes back and it's usually worse. I just want to give up and lay in bed but having 3 small children that is not possible.
We have been going to church on a regular basis and having the missionaries come once a week. We are going to be meeting with the bishop soon so we can start working towards the temple. For the first time today in probably my whole life I paid a full tithing. I felt so good as I handed it to Bishop Armstrong. First big step in our path to the temple. We are hoping that we can have everything ready to go by our 8th anniversary in June.
The kids are all doing great. They love primary so much. They are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new cousin any day from their Aunt Nicole and to tell you the truth so am I. They have been talking a lot about babies. Jordyn said the other day that she wanted a baby sister and Wyatt got all upset and said" YOU HAVE A SISTER!! I WANT A BROTHER!!! I just started laughing. I would love to have another baby but I just don't see that happening. They say RA goes into a kind of remission while pregnant and that right there made me say lets do it but I just don't know if I could do 4 kids alone. I would really like one tho.
Well I am starting to hurt sitting here so I guess that is my Que to get up and get everyone ready for bed.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do!
Well here we go again, I know I am lousy at this. Okay something I hope I never have to do is watch my children go through the pain that I experience day in and day out. There are days when the pain is to much and I just lay in bed praying for it to stop. It would be more than I think I could handle. Besides all the pain there are the side effects too that make things that much worse. Having to watch lumps and bumps and waiting for the next infection to creep up. Being told you high risk lymphoma is another thing that worries me. I pray that they will be spared from all of this.
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life!
Okay so I have really sucked it up when it comes to this 30 days of truth. I kind of took a couple days off and now I am getting back into it. Sorry if you have been checking each day. So here we go again!
I have had a ton of things that I have hoped to do in my life and a lot of those things are not going to happen and I have to just deal with it. I always wanted to at least try out for Miss Rodeo Utah but that is one thing that wont happen now. They kind of frown on married mothers of three. But that is okay with me.
One thing I do hope to do is compete in at least one PRCA rodeo in barrels, and I will do that! Even if I buy my card and walk around the barrels I will ride in one pro show!!
Another thing I hope to do is go through the temple. We are taking the steps to get there and I hope that one day we will get there!!!
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
I have had a ton of things that I have hoped to do in my life and a lot of those things are not going to happen and I have to just deal with it. I always wanted to at least try out for Miss Rodeo Utah but that is one thing that wont happen now. They kind of frown on married mothers of three. But that is okay with me.
One thing I do hope to do is compete in at least one PRCA rodeo in barrels, and I will do that! Even if I buy my card and walk around the barrels I will ride in one pro show!!
Another thing I hope to do is go through the temple. We are taking the steps to get there and I hope that one day we will get there!!!
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
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