My 2011 in a nut shell!!

    Well another year has done come and gone.  Before I started writing this I took the time to read my post's over the last year, as well as the one's I have been following.  For the most part it seems that everyone has had a good year with only a few hiccups along the way.  My year has definitely been life changing.

    We started our year out with the goal of being sealed as a family in the temple.  We achieved that goal on June 30th.  Words can't even begin to describe the feeling one feels when they are within the walls of the temple.  I was always kind of a skeptic when people would talk about it but I now know what they are talking about and they are 100% right!!!  When we went to the temple Jake and I had a secret that only we knew, were going to have another baby.

    While I was very excited about it, I  was also very scared to tell anyone.  I have very good friends and family who had been trying to have a baby for a long time and one that has just miscarried.  I didn't know how to tell them.  I will admit that I didn't handle the situation very well and I'm afraid that because of my actions some relationships suffered because of it.  It breaks my heart everyday knowing I was the cause of it.  To those who were hurt by my actions, words will never be able to describe how truly sorry I am and I hope that one day we can be close like we were before.

    My first 3 pregnancy's were a cake walk and I didn't realize just how easy they were till this one started.  I was so sick that I lost around 20 pounds and in July I hemorrhaged. Lucky for us it healed itself and the bleeding stopped.  Jake had just started a job in Wyo. and couldn't get home.  I felt so bad for him cause I knew all he wanted was to be home to help me.  After 4 weeks he was able to come home and has been close ever since.

    A couple months later I ended up having a panic attack that sent me in with contractions.  Lucky for me the doctor's here in town were able to give me an injection to help me calm down and stop the contractions that had started.  That put me on bed rest for a few weeks. Bed rest + 3 kids + alone= not easy!!  With my other kids I had my mom, Jake's mom, aunts, cousin's, friends and my sister all within 10 mins of me but this time I'm really alone.  It was hard but I got through it.

    Everything started to even out and I started to finally gain some weight in October.  In December I went for my app and the doctor listened to the babies heart and you could see on his face that he didn't like what he heard.  He turned it up so I could hear really good and there it was a pause.  It was almost like her heart just stopped and then decided to start back up.  If anyone knows my mom they know she had a baby that had a heart defect and resulted in a stillborn.  I wanted to die right then and there.  I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen.  He scheduled me for another in depth ultra sound and told me to go home rest and not worry.  Yeah right, not worry whatever!!!  We went for the ultra sound and got the best news ever. There is no defect of her heart and the whole time we were there it beat just fine.  Whatever that had caused the pause had fixed itself.  But they are still watching it really close just in case it's something that only happens once and awhile like a murmur.

    December was a busy month. Wyatt had his 8th birthday and the 2nd. Jake baptized him on the 10th.  It was so neat to see Jake do what neither of our dad's could do at the time of our baptisms.  Wyatt was so excited he wanted Jake to dunk him again.  Jordyn had her 6th birthday on the 23rd.  We went a visited family and saw the Christmas lights at Willard Bay on the way home.  Christmas was lots of fun and having the kids home for almost 2 weeks was nice yet stressful at the same time.  I had Jake home for New Year's for the first time in 3 years and we watched the ball drop while laying in bed. We are old cause right after we turned the TV off and went to sleep.

    Over all we had a good year full of camping, horseback riding and family time.  There were a few bumps in our road but we are all closer than I think we have ever been.  Now we gear up for the big year a head.  The baby will be here in February and we still have lots to do before she gets here.  I hope we all can have a great year!!!

Update time!!

     Well its been a few months since I have updated this thing. I am so horrible at this. So I had better get it updated.  We found out that a month ago that we are having another baby girl!! We are really excited about it but the kids were a little bummed cause they really wanted a little brother.  Everything has been going pretty good and I am happy to say I have reached my pre-pregnancy weight and I've gained a few pounds.  There for awhile I was wondering if I would ever eat real food again. They have moved my due date up a couple days to Feb 26th.  It's so crazy to think that it is already half over.

     The kids are loving school and doing so well. Wyatt is doing sooo much better with his reading and his math skills are awesome!!! Jordyn is scoring way high in her state testing which really doesn't surprise me, she is too smart for her own good sometimes.  Jailey is doing awesome too and I don't doubt that when kindergarten comes she will be more than ready.  They ask me everyday when the baby is going to come out. I think they are a little anxious. 

     Jake has been working in Salt Lake the last few months so he has been able to come home every weekend which has been great. He is such a big help to me with the kids and things around the house. He took Wyatt hunting for the first time this year and they got a little buck which Wyatt thought was the biggest deer on the mountain. He is such a good dad.  He had a week off and he spent every second he could with the kids and me.  He colored with them, rode horses and watched T.V. with them.  He also watched them so that I could spend sometime with my family while my grandpa was in the hospital.

     It's been a crazy couple months and it's only going to get crazier! Jake's birthday is tomorrow and mine is Tuesday. Then Thanksgiving comes and then we have Wyatt and Jordyn's birthday's in December and then Christmas.  Then we have a few weeks to recoup before the baby comes. I will try my hardest to keep this thing updated, but if not Happy Holidays to all of you!!!!

Where has summer gone?!?!

     I have been such a slacker with my blog this summer, so hang with me while I catch everyone up.  June 30th we were sealed as an eternal family.  It was an amazing day! Words can't even describe the overwhelming feeling of peace I felt that day.  We had lots of family and many friends come out to share our special day.  I am very lucky to have the family and friends that I have. I don't know what I would do without their love and support in this big change.  If you had told me over a year ago what my life would be like today I would have called you a liar.  I never thought that all of this could be mine.  I hadn't lived a spot free life and I am not perfect.  It took a lot of prayer and self examination to realize that I was just living a small part of the life I could live.  Ever since I decided things needed to change a little I have never  been happier.  It's kind of funny cause when I was younger I was the outsider cause I didn't go to church and that was okay with me, but I find it a little hard to be the outsider because we now are active in the church.  The people that are suppose to be your friends kind of look at you different and treat you different.  We are the same people we used to be.  We just have chosen to not do some things that we used to do.  We still love to hangout with friends and have fun.  But anyway that's a little heavy and I have more stuff to write about ;)

     We have been having issues with Jordyn and her stomach for the last few months.  Finally after trying all kinds of meds we went to see a Peds GI and he ran a ton of tests.  I am hoping that we will finally find out what is causing her so much pain.  Jake is now working out of town again.  He called me on his way home one Friday and said "I quit my job"  I just about died! What was he thinking??  Well he likes to make me sweat a little before he tells me that he got a offer to work lots of hours and make a little more money. The catch is he has been gone for a month now.  But we are hoping that they will have some work in Salt Lake this fall!  He should be headed back this way next week.

     The kids are growing up so fast!! They are very excited to start school in two weeks! Wyatt will be in 2nd grade and Jordyn will be in kindergarten.  Jailey will be in her last year of preschool.  It is so crazy how fast time slips by.  They however are even more excited for the 1st of March cause that is when their new little brother or sister is suppose to arrive!

     Yes you read right, we are expecting #4 the first of March.  I know what all of you are thinking "They are crazy" or "Why start over"  I'll fill you in on that.  Last fall why redoing our living room Jake kept saying that the girls should move downstairs and their room would make a great nursery.  I looked at him like he had sprouted another head.  He has never in all the years I've been married to him suggested we have another kid.  I have secretly wanted one for awhile now but I thought I had know how Jake felt about it so I didn't bring it up.  Well when he said that I decided we should talk about it.  He told me to find out with my doctor's what all I would have to do to even think about trying.  The meds I have been on for over 3 years have done damage to my liver and are very dangerous to a baby.  The doctor's told me that I had to go off all my meds for at least 6 months so in December I stopped them all except one that I had to only be off of for 1 month.  They told me that it was going to be hard and that I would experience lots of pain coming off the meds. Which was the truth, but I just kept thinking about the end results.  When we got the okay from my doctor's they warned me that it could take awhile for me to get pregnant because of my RA.  Well being the (as my sister likes to call me) Fertile Mertal that I am it took 2 months.  We found out the week before we went to the temple so that made the experience even more special, cause all of our children were there.  I had a hard time telling a  people cause I'm scared of their reactions and we kept it quite for awhile too cause I have had a few problems, but everything is going good now.  I am really nervous and excited.  I have never been so sick in my life.  I was never sick with the other ones.  I feel like this is the first time all over again. 

     So that's a little about our crazy summer!!  And I hope nobody is made about me keeping our secret for awhile!! Hope everyone enjoys the last 2 weeks of their summer!!!

The Date Has Been Set!!!!!!

I have been horrible at keeping my blog updated and I am sorry for those of you who actually like reading my randomness.  A lot has been going on around here it seems like. Jake as been working really close to home so he is able to come home on the weekends.  I have really enjoyed this. The kids have loved having their dad home.  He is so good with them. He has had them outside digging in the dirt and having the girl collecting worms ;)  They are his little helpers and they love it.  My yard is starting to look awesome.

We celebrated our 8th anniversary on the 5th of this  month.  It is so crazy that we have been married that long.  We have been together for almost 11 years.  I knew when I met him we were suppose to be together.  Not saying things weren't a little hard at times but we made it through them.  Now we are about to take our next big step and that is being sealed for time and all eternity in the Logan temple on the 30th of June!!! I am so excited for this I can't even describe it.  We were married on the first Thursday in June and we will be getting sealed on the last Thursday in June.  Jake says I am weird but I think that is kind of cool.

Getting to the temple hasn't been a walk in the park and its been a emotional process.  It has brought us closer than we have been in a long time.  It is so overwhelming when I look back at the last few years and see how far I have come.  All because a dear friend of mine saw something in me that I didn't see in myself and made me feel like I could do it.  The next month is going to be hectic but it will be great. If any of you want details on our sealing please let me know!! Thanks for all the support and love. Keeps us in your prayers for the next month cause I know its not going to be easy cause a certain someone is going to try everything he can to keep us from our goal and he is not going to win!!!!!

WOW!!!

   Since my last post somethings have changed.  The Wednesday after Jake was ordained and Elder I got a phone call asking if I could meet with the bishop. I said that wouldn't be a problem.  I thought it was just going to be an interview to get me going on getting my temple recommend. Boy was I wrong.  When I showed up to the church and Brother Jones met me at the door and went into the Bishop's office with me I knew this wasn't a temple recommend interview this was a calling interview.  They told me how the Lord had a road map set out for me and that map had brought me to his office.  He asked me if I would be willing to be the Primary Sec. I was a little nervous about it but I said yes that I would.  Well I got a call that Saturday from the Bishop and he asked if he could stop by my house for a min.  I said that would be fine.  I had a bunch of thoughts running through my head thinking what did I do now!! I haven't even started my job yet.  When he came by he said there had been a miscommunication and he needed me to be the 2nd counselor. Well this is  a even bigger job cause it requires  me to actually teach the kids.  I thought about it for a min and I had a good feeling so I said yes!  The sisters in the presidency are just great!! I am very excited about it!!

   In Jake's blessing he was blessed that his work might bring him closer to home.  We all laughed a little about that cause he never works very close.  He works for my uncle right now and he was there for the blessing and said looks like we might be getting work closer to home because of your blessing. We all laughed about that too. Well here we are a month later and he is working close to home for at least 5 months.  I have been praying that this would happen so that he could attend the temple classes with me so that we can get to the temple soon and it now looks like that will happen.  June is our goal!!  I do believe our prayers have been answered!!!
  
   Our life is changing by leaps and bounds!! I can't wait to see what waits ahead!!!! 

  And if men come unto me I will show them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.   Ether 12:27

   I have thought about the above passage a lot over the last few months.  Out of all that I have read this passage hits me the hardest.  For the longest time I thought of myself as someone who had their stuff together, boy was I wrong.  Over the past 3 years I have had trial after trial come before me and I got through them, or so I thought.  Little did I know I was just brushing things under the rug.  Then one day it all came to a head and I fell apart.  I realized I wasn't as strong of a person as I thought I was.  I pulled out a copy of the Book of Mormon that my kids had gotten from their Aunt Nicole and started thumbing through it.  I stopped at this verse and read it over and over.  I had been shown my weaknesses without the rose colored glasses that I had been wearing for far to long.  I finally realized what had been missing in my life and what I needed to do. 

  I have made the changes that I needed to do and I am still making changes.  Each day is a test and more days than others I pass but there are days that I start to question if I am strong enough to pass these tests put in front of me.  When I get thinking like I open my scriptures and read this passage over and over till I get the feeling that everything will be okay.  I loving what my changes have done to my family and how close we have gotten.  I love how me and Jake sit and talk about church stuff all the time.  It has been an adjustment but not a hard one.  I have been humbled and I know that one day my weaknesses will be made strengths.

  We had the most wonderful weekend.  We went to Stake Conference where Jake was sustained and Elder in the church.  Sunday night some of our family members and friends came for dinner and then went with us up to the church where Jake's dad Tony ordained him as an Elder.  The blessing was so beautiful.  I am so happy that my husband is now a priesthood holder.  Our journey is just getting started and I am so excited about where we will end up in the end!

Time for an update!!

  Well it's been awhile since I have updated this thing so i figured I had better get on it.  Not a whole lot has really been going on in the last month.  Kids have all been pretty healthy for the most part and so have I.  I went to the doctor today for my monthly infusion and it went pretty good. Jake is still working in southern California. He hates it and wants to come home.  I want him to come home.  He will be flying in on Friday and will be getting ordained and Elder.  I am very excited for this to happen. It puts us that much closer to the temple.  We had our pa blessings done and it was such a neat experience.  I can't believe I waited this long to have mine done.

  Been going through with drawls from the race track.  I haven't been to one chariot race this season and I kind of miss it.  I miss playing with the horses and the adult interaction after a week of being with the kids.  I miss the friends I made down there.  I am hoping to make it to Worlds in a few weeks but we will see.  I had such a good time down there last year and I would kick myself if I didn't at least go to one race.  Last year I didn't miss one!  I am hoping to get feeling good enough that I will be able to start riding them again with my cousin Cody.  We got really close over the past year and it makes me really happy that we can share something together.  Although he has made a kind of career as a jockey, I would like to run one race and then I would be happy. But for now I will take just galloping them!

Well got a busy week and month! Hopefully my next post will be longer with some good news about a temple date!!