Well another year has done come and gone. Before I started writing this I took the time to read my post's over the last year, as well as the one's I have been following. For the most part it seems that everyone has had a good year with only a few hiccups along the way. My year has definitely been life changing.
We started our year out with the goal of being sealed as a family in the temple. We achieved that goal on June 30th. Words can't even begin to describe the feeling one feels when they are within the walls of the temple. I was always kind of a skeptic when people would talk about it but I now know what they are talking about and they are 100% right!!! When we went to the temple Jake and I had a secret that only we knew, were going to have another baby.
While I was very excited about it, I was also very scared to tell anyone. I have very good friends and family who had been trying to have a baby for a long time and one that has just miscarried. I didn't know how to tell them. I will admit that I didn't handle the situation very well and I'm afraid that because of my actions some relationships suffered because of it. It breaks my heart everyday knowing I was the cause of it. To those who were hurt by my actions, words will never be able to describe how truly sorry I am and I hope that one day we can be close like we were before.
My first 3 pregnancy's were a cake walk and I didn't realize just how easy they were till this one started. I was so sick that I lost around 20 pounds and in July I hemorrhaged. Lucky for us it healed itself and the bleeding stopped. Jake had just started a job in Wyo. and couldn't get home. I felt so bad for him cause I knew all he wanted was to be home to help me. After 4 weeks he was able to come home and has been close ever since.
A couple months later I ended up having a panic attack that sent me in with contractions. Lucky for me the doctor's here in town were able to give me an injection to help me calm down and stop the contractions that had started. That put me on bed rest for a few weeks. Bed rest + 3 kids + alone= not easy!! With my other kids I had my mom, Jake's mom, aunts, cousin's, friends and my sister all within 10 mins of me but this time I'm really alone. It was hard but I got through it.
Everything started to even out and I started to finally gain some weight in October. In December I went for my app and the doctor listened to the babies heart and you could see on his face that he didn't like what he heard. He turned it up so I could hear really good and there it was a pause. It was almost like her heart just stopped and then decided to start back up. If anyone knows my mom they know she had a baby that had a heart defect and resulted in a stillborn. I wanted to die right then and there. I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen. He scheduled me for another in depth ultra sound and told me to go home rest and not worry. Yeah right, not worry whatever!!! We went for the ultra sound and got the best news ever. There is no defect of her heart and the whole time we were there it beat just fine. Whatever that had caused the pause had fixed itself. But they are still watching it really close just in case it's something that only happens once and awhile like a murmur.
December was a busy month. Wyatt had his 8th birthday and the 2nd. Jake baptized him on the 10th. It was so neat to see Jake do what neither of our dad's could do at the time of our baptisms. Wyatt was so excited he wanted Jake to dunk him again. Jordyn had her 6th birthday on the 23rd. We went a visited family and saw the Christmas lights at Willard Bay on the way home. Christmas was lots of fun and having the kids home for almost 2 weeks was nice yet stressful at the same time. I had Jake home for New Year's for the first time in 3 years and we watched the ball drop while laying in bed. We are old cause right after we turned the TV off and went to sleep.
Over all we had a good year full of camping, horseback riding and family time. There were a few bumps in our road but we are all closer than I think we have ever been. Now we gear up for the big year a head. The baby will be here in February and we still have lots to do before she gets here. I hope we all can have a great year!!!
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