Well this update finds us well into our summer vacation! The kids are so happy to be out of school and free to do lots of stuff outside. Jacelyn is growing so fast! She had her 4 month check on the 13th and is 13lbs and 10oz. She is in the 90% for her height and the 50% for her weight. We took her to visit the ENT yesterday and we have scheduled her surgery for the 30th of July. I hope by then she is sleeping through the night and takes a bottle easier than she does now. Jake is working in Maine and is hating it almost as much as we are. But its a job, it pays the bills, keeps a roof over our head and food in our mouths. For that I am grateful. We celebrated our 9th anniversary the 5th of this month 3,000 miles apart. That was a hard day for both of us but I think tomorrow is going to be harder with it being father's day. He is my hero and words can not even begin to describe how very grateful I am for all that he sacrifices for our family. We have our fingers crossed that he will be able to come home in July to work on a job up north that his company is starting.
I've had a lot on my mind lately and decided I would get it out of my head and on my blog. First of all I want to say to all the single mom's/dad's, army wives/husbands, and widowed people out there with kids, you all are my HERO'S!!! I do not know how you do it alone for such a prolonged period of time. These past few months have been harder for me than they normally are and I think its because of Jacelyn and seeing all the things that he is missing. I know it is extremely hard for him. Thank goodness for technology and face time ;) it makes things a little easier at times but it also makes it harder too. Watching my baby girl smile, laugh and reach for daddy every time she sees him on the phone when we face time breaks my heart along with his. I know I am not alone in the world when it comes to mom's raising kids while their other half is out there making the money so we can live comfortably. I know there are people out there who are worse off too. I am so thankful for what I have. It could always be worse.
There is a saying about not judging other's until you've walked a mile in their shoe's. Well I totally agree with this and I can say that I am guilty of judging quickly and wrongly. But I have also been on the receiving end of this for a good chunk of my life and realize I am still being judged and always will be. Lately I've been called lazy and ignorant. Not sure what I have done to deserve this judgement but maybe I am. All I know is that I try as hard as I can to raise 4 kids. I try soo hard to be a good mother, daughter, sister and friend. And when your raising 4 kids semi alone it takes it out of you. So I may not always look perfect and my girls hair might be pulled in a pony everyday for a week, oh well they are happy and healthy!! I am not perfect and have never claimed nor will I ever claim to be. I am just another person out here in this crazy world trying my hardest to do my best.
I have the best neighbors and friends a girl could ever ask for. My neighbor across the street changes my water in he field cause he says he is bored. Yeah right I know he is not bored but he will never know how grateful I am for all his help and I hope he enjoys the rounds of golf I bought him for his help. My other neighbors are awesome!! Even if we don't always talk, just knowing that they are there if I ever need anything makes me feel at ease with things. I am so grateful for their friendship!! And chocolate brownies and cupcakes ;) lol
I hope that everyone has a wonderful Father's Day weekend and if you are fortunate to have your dad close give them an extra special hug for those who will not have the chance to see their dad's this holiday!! Love you all and have a wonderful summer!!!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
ENT Visit
On Friday Jake and I took Jacelyn to Primary Children's Hospital to meet with the ENT Specialist. I was really nervous cause this was the day we would find out what the plan would be over the next few months. I already knew that surgery was a must but in the back of my mind I was hoping that it would close on it's own and it wouldn't be required. Wishful thinking on my part I guess.
We get there and the weigh her and she is almost 8.5 pounds and everything looks good. Dr. Meier comes in and takes a look at her neck and says, "Yep its a Branchial Cleft Fistula." So we now have a confirmed diagnoses. Now what is it and what do we do about it. He tells us that if forms between the 2 week and 6 week of development and for some reason it doesn't close off. It's a tube that leads from the outside to the inside of the throat up next to the tonsils in most cases. It looks almost like a worm and can tend to be long. Sometimes, although rare, they can go down into the chest and wrap around the heart. He tells us until the go in they really won't know which way it goes, but if it goes down he stops the surgery and gets another surgeon cause it then requires a whole different kind of surgery. The bad part is that the infection factor is so high. If it gets infected it can put pressure on her throat or her heart just depending on the direction of the tube. He tells us he has done the surgery before and is very comfortable with it.
We then start talking about when to do the surgery. He says they have a 10lbs, 10 week guide line they go by but feels confident that waiting till July will be the best. The smaller the kid is the easier it is to get the tube out and the less likely they are to scar too bad. They will have to make two incisions on the right side of her neck. We have a follow up appointment on June 15th and after that we will schedule the surgery.
While I am scared about my little girl have to be put under and cut into I know that the doctor can get it done and will do a good job. One of my biggest worries is what if it goes down into her chest? Also how do you explain to a 5 month old that they can't eat or drink after midnight? It's going to be a long couple of months but I will be glad when its all over.
We get there and the weigh her and she is almost 8.5 pounds and everything looks good. Dr. Meier comes in and takes a look at her neck and says, "Yep its a Branchial Cleft Fistula." So we now have a confirmed diagnoses. Now what is it and what do we do about it. He tells us that if forms between the 2 week and 6 week of development and for some reason it doesn't close off. It's a tube that leads from the outside to the inside of the throat up next to the tonsils in most cases. It looks almost like a worm and can tend to be long. Sometimes, although rare, they can go down into the chest and wrap around the heart. He tells us until the go in they really won't know which way it goes, but if it goes down he stops the surgery and gets another surgeon cause it then requires a whole different kind of surgery. The bad part is that the infection factor is so high. If it gets infected it can put pressure on her throat or her heart just depending on the direction of the tube. He tells us he has done the surgery before and is very comfortable with it.
We then start talking about when to do the surgery. He says they have a 10lbs, 10 week guide line they go by but feels confident that waiting till July will be the best. The smaller the kid is the easier it is to get the tube out and the less likely they are to scar too bad. They will have to make two incisions on the right side of her neck. We have a follow up appointment on June 15th and after that we will schedule the surgery.
While I am scared about my little girl have to be put under and cut into I know that the doctor can get it done and will do a good job. One of my biggest worries is what if it goes down into her chest? Also how do you explain to a 5 month old that they can't eat or drink after midnight? It's going to be a long couple of months but I will be glad when its all over.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Jacelyn Bonnie Jones
So I have slacking on my blog a lot, but it's been a busy couple of months. January was filled with a lot of nervous energy as we realized we were getting closer to having the baby who still had no bedroom and no name. Jake had to go to work in Seattle when they had a big storm that knocked down a lot of power lines. I am used to him having to go out of town but I was a little nervous this time cause we were getting so close to having the baby. On January 23rd my fears came true, I went into labor. I was super scared cause she was 5 weeks early and Jake was still gone. Lucky for us they were able to get my labor stopped and sent me home to bed. I took it pretty easy after that. The kids were so helpful with helping me carry things up and down the stairs and getting themselves ready for school in the mornings so all I had to do was the girls hair and get them breakfast. I have the best kids ever!! I also have the best neighbors and friends anyone could ever ask for. From doing my chores and running kids to school or picking them up for me. I never had to worry about anything. But even staying down didn't keep labor away. At 36 1/2 weeks I went into labor again. This time it was a little harder to stop, but at least Jake was home. They got it stopped and sent me home to bed again.
Finally on February 15th we welcomed our little girl into the world. Jacelyn Bonnie Jones. She weighed in at 7lbs 4oz and was 19 1/2 inches long and boy was she a hairy little thing ;) We had argued over the name for a long time but this was one that we both liked. Bonnie is Jake's grandma's name and she is one strong cookie! She has been battling cancer for the past few years and she is still just as strong as she was when I first met here. I hope my daughter's will be as strong as her throughout their lives. Labor was pretty easy and nothing really dramatic happened. Which is just fine cause we had, had enough drama with this little one for a while. The older kids have just loved having their baby sister home. They fight over holding her all the time. They are all so stinking cute with her.
After being home a couple days I noticed a dark spot on Jacelyn's neck. When I rubbed my finger over it some clear sticky fluid came out of it. I pointed it out to the doctor at her 5 day check and he informed me that it is called a Branchial Cleft Fistula. He then told me that he has only ever seen two of them and this was the number two. He told me that she would have to have surgery to close it cause it is an opening that goes from the outside of her neck to either the inside of her throat or the surrounding area of her neck. They don't want to do surgery till she is 10 pounds or 6 months, but should it become infected they will do it sooner. I was not prepared to here this after only having her five days prior. He gave us a referral to Primary Children's Hospital and we are seeing Dr. Meier this Friday so that we know exactly what we are dealing with and she has a doctor ready for when it's time for surgery or it gets infected. From what I have read they are very rare and so there isn't a ton of info on the web to read so it will be nice to know what is going on. The next few months are going to be a little nerve wracking but we will get through it.
I will try to keep this updated as we travel down the road to surgery. It's going to be a great spring and summer with the kids growing and learning so much. I'm so excited to take the kids camping, fishing and horseback riding this summer. Going to be a year full of new experiences!!!
Finally on February 15th we welcomed our little girl into the world. Jacelyn Bonnie Jones. She weighed in at 7lbs 4oz and was 19 1/2 inches long and boy was she a hairy little thing ;) We had argued over the name for a long time but this was one that we both liked. Bonnie is Jake's grandma's name and she is one strong cookie! She has been battling cancer for the past few years and she is still just as strong as she was when I first met here. I hope my daughter's will be as strong as her throughout their lives. Labor was pretty easy and nothing really dramatic happened. Which is just fine cause we had, had enough drama with this little one for a while. The older kids have just loved having their baby sister home. They fight over holding her all the time. They are all so stinking cute with her.
After being home a couple days I noticed a dark spot on Jacelyn's neck. When I rubbed my finger over it some clear sticky fluid came out of it. I pointed it out to the doctor at her 5 day check and he informed me that it is called a Branchial Cleft Fistula. He then told me that he has only ever seen two of them and this was the number two. He told me that she would have to have surgery to close it cause it is an opening that goes from the outside of her neck to either the inside of her throat or the surrounding area of her neck. They don't want to do surgery till she is 10 pounds or 6 months, but should it become infected they will do it sooner. I was not prepared to here this after only having her five days prior. He gave us a referral to Primary Children's Hospital and we are seeing Dr. Meier this Friday so that we know exactly what we are dealing with and she has a doctor ready for when it's time for surgery or it gets infected. From what I have read they are very rare and so there isn't a ton of info on the web to read so it will be nice to know what is going on. The next few months are going to be a little nerve wracking but we will get through it.
I will try to keep this updated as we travel down the road to surgery. It's going to be a great spring and summer with the kids growing and learning so much. I'm so excited to take the kids camping, fishing and horseback riding this summer. Going to be a year full of new experiences!!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
My 2011 in a nut shell!!
Well another year has done come and gone. Before I started writing this I took the time to read my post's over the last year, as well as the one's I have been following. For the most part it seems that everyone has had a good year with only a few hiccups along the way. My year has definitely been life changing.
We started our year out with the goal of being sealed as a family in the temple. We achieved that goal on June 30th. Words can't even begin to describe the feeling one feels when they are within the walls of the temple. I was always kind of a skeptic when people would talk about it but I now know what they are talking about and they are 100% right!!! When we went to the temple Jake and I had a secret that only we knew, were going to have another baby.
While I was very excited about it, I was also very scared to tell anyone. I have very good friends and family who had been trying to have a baby for a long time and one that has just miscarried. I didn't know how to tell them. I will admit that I didn't handle the situation very well and I'm afraid that because of my actions some relationships suffered because of it. It breaks my heart everyday knowing I was the cause of it. To those who were hurt by my actions, words will never be able to describe how truly sorry I am and I hope that one day we can be close like we were before.
My first 3 pregnancy's were a cake walk and I didn't realize just how easy they were till this one started. I was so sick that I lost around 20 pounds and in July I hemorrhaged. Lucky for us it healed itself and the bleeding stopped. Jake had just started a job in Wyo. and couldn't get home. I felt so bad for him cause I knew all he wanted was to be home to help me. After 4 weeks he was able to come home and has been close ever since.
A couple months later I ended up having a panic attack that sent me in with contractions. Lucky for me the doctor's here in town were able to give me an injection to help me calm down and stop the contractions that had started. That put me on bed rest for a few weeks. Bed rest + 3 kids + alone= not easy!! With my other kids I had my mom, Jake's mom, aunts, cousin's, friends and my sister all within 10 mins of me but this time I'm really alone. It was hard but I got through it.
Everything started to even out and I started to finally gain some weight in October. In December I went for my app and the doctor listened to the babies heart and you could see on his face that he didn't like what he heard. He turned it up so I could hear really good and there it was a pause. It was almost like her heart just stopped and then decided to start back up. If anyone knows my mom they know she had a baby that had a heart defect and resulted in a stillborn. I wanted to die right then and there. I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen. He scheduled me for another in depth ultra sound and told me to go home rest and not worry. Yeah right, not worry whatever!!! We went for the ultra sound and got the best news ever. There is no defect of her heart and the whole time we were there it beat just fine. Whatever that had caused the pause had fixed itself. But they are still watching it really close just in case it's something that only happens once and awhile like a murmur.
December was a busy month. Wyatt had his 8th birthday and the 2nd. Jake baptized him on the 10th. It was so neat to see Jake do what neither of our dad's could do at the time of our baptisms. Wyatt was so excited he wanted Jake to dunk him again. Jordyn had her 6th birthday on the 23rd. We went a visited family and saw the Christmas lights at Willard Bay on the way home. Christmas was lots of fun and having the kids home for almost 2 weeks was nice yet stressful at the same time. I had Jake home for New Year's for the first time in 3 years and we watched the ball drop while laying in bed. We are old cause right after we turned the TV off and went to sleep.
Over all we had a good year full of camping, horseback riding and family time. There were a few bumps in our road but we are all closer than I think we have ever been. Now we gear up for the big year a head. The baby will be here in February and we still have lots to do before she gets here. I hope we all can have a great year!!!
We started our year out with the goal of being sealed as a family in the temple. We achieved that goal on June 30th. Words can't even begin to describe the feeling one feels when they are within the walls of the temple. I was always kind of a skeptic when people would talk about it but I now know what they are talking about and they are 100% right!!! When we went to the temple Jake and I had a secret that only we knew, were going to have another baby.
While I was very excited about it, I was also very scared to tell anyone. I have very good friends and family who had been trying to have a baby for a long time and one that has just miscarried. I didn't know how to tell them. I will admit that I didn't handle the situation very well and I'm afraid that because of my actions some relationships suffered because of it. It breaks my heart everyday knowing I was the cause of it. To those who were hurt by my actions, words will never be able to describe how truly sorry I am and I hope that one day we can be close like we were before.
My first 3 pregnancy's were a cake walk and I didn't realize just how easy they were till this one started. I was so sick that I lost around 20 pounds and in July I hemorrhaged. Lucky for us it healed itself and the bleeding stopped. Jake had just started a job in Wyo. and couldn't get home. I felt so bad for him cause I knew all he wanted was to be home to help me. After 4 weeks he was able to come home and has been close ever since.
A couple months later I ended up having a panic attack that sent me in with contractions. Lucky for me the doctor's here in town were able to give me an injection to help me calm down and stop the contractions that had started. That put me on bed rest for a few weeks. Bed rest + 3 kids + alone= not easy!! With my other kids I had my mom, Jake's mom, aunts, cousin's, friends and my sister all within 10 mins of me but this time I'm really alone. It was hard but I got through it.
Everything started to even out and I started to finally gain some weight in October. In December I went for my app and the doctor listened to the babies heart and you could see on his face that he didn't like what he heard. He turned it up so I could hear really good and there it was a pause. It was almost like her heart just stopped and then decided to start back up. If anyone knows my mom they know she had a baby that had a heart defect and resulted in a stillborn. I wanted to die right then and there. I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen. He scheduled me for another in depth ultra sound and told me to go home rest and not worry. Yeah right, not worry whatever!!! We went for the ultra sound and got the best news ever. There is no defect of her heart and the whole time we were there it beat just fine. Whatever that had caused the pause had fixed itself. But they are still watching it really close just in case it's something that only happens once and awhile like a murmur.
December was a busy month. Wyatt had his 8th birthday and the 2nd. Jake baptized him on the 10th. It was so neat to see Jake do what neither of our dad's could do at the time of our baptisms. Wyatt was so excited he wanted Jake to dunk him again. Jordyn had her 6th birthday on the 23rd. We went a visited family and saw the Christmas lights at Willard Bay on the way home. Christmas was lots of fun and having the kids home for almost 2 weeks was nice yet stressful at the same time. I had Jake home for New Year's for the first time in 3 years and we watched the ball drop while laying in bed. We are old cause right after we turned the TV off and went to sleep.
Over all we had a good year full of camping, horseback riding and family time. There were a few bumps in our road but we are all closer than I think we have ever been. Now we gear up for the big year a head. The baby will be here in February and we still have lots to do before she gets here. I hope we all can have a great year!!!
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